"People don't change their behavior unless it makes a difference for them to do so."
-- Sharon Stone
When I was young (extremely young to further emphasize how naive I was), I used to view the world as a simple place with simple people all living their simple lives. They handled their simple problems with simple solutions, and they simply loved one another with their simple, simple hearts.
Wow, how times have changed since I once remembered them.
Things that simple end up being complicated in the long-run. We are human, and with that role comes a whole collection of complex feelings, emotions, relationships, and a myriad of other responsibilities. We are all different, and sometimes a clash of ideals takes place.
And yet, I've grown too tired to "figure everything out." It becomes too difficult to constantly give people a chance, allowing them to abuse your good will and how you're "supposed" to react to certain things. You sever and mend the same rope, but eventually, it grows too weak to sustain any more pressure.
"People don't change. They may want to. They may need to. But they simply don't." -- Hugh Laurie
Friends come and go. Relationships ignite, flicker, and fade. And that's simply life. We can't go on expecting anything from anyone . . . otherwise we'll be continuously let down. I've learned a lot from the experiences I've been in, but sometimes you just have to cut a bad deal when you see one; learn to cut your losses. Sometimes it's okay to give up when you don't have any more to give. It's draining, it hurts, and it really does a disservice to those that do deserve your entire being . . . and not to those that give it to every Dick, Jane, and Harry they see. How great that must feel . . .
"I wish I hadn't seen all of the realness
And all the real people are really not real at all
The more I learn the more I cry
As I say goodbye to the way of life
I thought I had designed for me"
And then a stupid thing like "love" enters the equation, blinding us from reality and what we are willing to accept. Love for friends, love for family, love for the one true person meant for you in life, whatever love there is completely fucks up any real sense of right and wrong . . . it just is what it is. I used to be demanding. Not in the way most people think though; I don't ask for a lot and I'm a minimalist when it comes to that area. But I was demanding in the sense of my need to know a person's past experiences, what they had did, why they had done it, and how I mattered now, in spite of it all. I suppose I still am to a certain extent - I do have trust issues from time to time, but not without reason.
There are times when I have gone through a person's text messages when I have a sneaking suspicion about a friend or relationship . . . and more often then not my suspicions are proven true. It's sad that it has to resort to something so drastic, so untrustworthy, but I end up finding what I fear . . . and things begin to crumble. Messages say a lot about a person, and it's even more disheartening to make excuses for that.
I'm better about it though. People choose to live their lives the best way they know how. I'm more accepting then before, but I no longer feel the need to tie myself down either and care how it affects others. I have learned to change myself without any reservations, even when others struggle or are too stubborn to. Either way, it'll bite you in the ass in the end.
But the changes I have adopted are more along the lines of the ideas of "changing with the seasons," where it provides a good time to repair, clean, or let go of those things we have put away for a while and not necessarily about who you are. That's too difficult for a lot of people I know, so adapt I must.
"All of the moments that already passed
We'll try to go back and make them last
All of the things we want each other to be
We never will be
And that's wonderful, and that's life"
-- Nelly Furtado, Try
So then we, being the clever human beings we are, try to squeeze in the word "love" or anything akin to it as if it were to make anything better. But anyone with a brain is smarter than to fall for that cliché reasoning. Sometimes I put up with people's bullshit just because it's easier, simply
easier to deal with these complex emotions already piling in my head. It's even easier to let go, to just be who you are without anyone having any sort of jurisdiction over your entire being, especially when it is not deserved. For all its trouble and worth, love sometimes just isn't enough.
We're all searching for something different, and maybe we're confused on exactly what that is. If we recognize exactly what we want, and why we do the things we do, then it's possible there would be less casualites in this silly game we call love.
"We all need somebody to look at us. We can be divided into four categories according to the kind of look we wish to live under.
The first category longs for the look of an infinite number of anonymous eyes, in other words, for the look of the public...
The second category is made up of people who have a vital need to be looked at by many known eyes. They are the tireless hosts of cocktail parties and dinners...
Then there is the third category, the category of people who need to be constantly before the eyes of the person they love. Their situation is as dangerous as the situation of people in the first category. One day the eyes of their beloved will close, and the room will go dark..
And finally there is the fourth category, the rarest, the category of people who live in the imaginary eyes of those who are not present. They are the dreamers."
-- Milan Kundera, The Unbearable Lightness of Being
-- Sharon Stone
When I was young (extremely young to further emphasize how naive I was), I used to view the world as a simple place with simple people all living their simple lives. They handled their simple problems with simple solutions, and they simply loved one another with their simple, simple hearts.
Wow, how times have changed since I once remembered them.
Things that simple end up being complicated in the long-run. We are human, and with that role comes a whole collection of complex feelings, emotions, relationships, and a myriad of other responsibilities. We are all different, and sometimes a clash of ideals takes place.
And yet, I've grown too tired to "figure everything out." It becomes too difficult to constantly give people a chance, allowing them to abuse your good will and how you're "supposed" to react to certain things. You sever and mend the same rope, but eventually, it grows too weak to sustain any more pressure.
"People don't change. They may want to. They may need to. But they simply don't." -- Hugh Laurie
Friends come and go. Relationships ignite, flicker, and fade. And that's simply life. We can't go on expecting anything from anyone . . . otherwise we'll be continuously let down. I've learned a lot from the experiences I've been in, but sometimes you just have to cut a bad deal when you see one; learn to cut your losses. Sometimes it's okay to give up when you don't have any more to give. It's draining, it hurts, and it really does a disservice to those that do deserve your entire being . . . and not to those that give it to every Dick, Jane, and Harry they see. How great that must feel . . .
"I wish I hadn't seen all of the realness
And all the real people are really not real at all
The more I learn the more I cry
As I say goodbye to the way of life
I thought I had designed for me"
And then a stupid thing like "love" enters the equation, blinding us from reality and what we are willing to accept. Love for friends, love for family, love for the one true person meant for you in life, whatever love there is completely fucks up any real sense of right and wrong . . . it just is what it is. I used to be demanding. Not in the way most people think though; I don't ask for a lot and I'm a minimalist when it comes to that area. But I was demanding in the sense of my need to know a person's past experiences, what they had did, why they had done it, and how I mattered now, in spite of it all. I suppose I still am to a certain extent - I do have trust issues from time to time, but not without reason.
There are times when I have gone through a person's text messages when I have a sneaking suspicion about a friend or relationship . . . and more often then not my suspicions are proven true. It's sad that it has to resort to something so drastic, so untrustworthy, but I end up finding what I fear . . . and things begin to crumble. Messages say a lot about a person, and it's even more disheartening to make excuses for that.
I'm better about it though. People choose to live their lives the best way they know how. I'm more accepting then before, but I no longer feel the need to tie myself down either and care how it affects others. I have learned to change myself without any reservations, even when others struggle or are too stubborn to. Either way, it'll bite you in the ass in the end.
But the changes I have adopted are more along the lines of the ideas of "changing with the seasons," where it provides a good time to repair, clean, or let go of those things we have put away for a while and not necessarily about who you are. That's too difficult for a lot of people I know, so adapt I must.
"All of the moments that already passed
We'll try to go back and make them last
All of the things we want each other to be
We never will be
And that's wonderful, and that's life"
-- Nelly Furtado, Try
So then we, being the clever human beings we are, try to squeeze in the word "love" or anything akin to it as if it were to make anything better. But anyone with a brain is smarter than to fall for that cliché reasoning. Sometimes I put up with people's bullshit just because it's easier, simply
easier to deal with these complex emotions already piling in my head. It's even easier to let go, to just be who you are without anyone having any sort of jurisdiction over your entire being, especially when it is not deserved. For all its trouble and worth, love sometimes just isn't enough.
We're all searching for something different, and maybe we're confused on exactly what that is. If we recognize exactly what we want, and why we do the things we do, then it's possible there would be less casualites in this silly game we call love.
"We all need somebody to look at us. We can be divided into four categories according to the kind of look we wish to live under.
The first category longs for the look of an infinite number of anonymous eyes, in other words, for the look of the public...
The second category is made up of people who have a vital need to be looked at by many known eyes. They are the tireless hosts of cocktail parties and dinners...
Then there is the third category, the category of people who need to be constantly before the eyes of the person they love. Their situation is as dangerous as the situation of people in the first category. One day the eyes of their beloved will close, and the room will go dark..
And finally there is the fourth category, the rarest, the category of people who live in the imaginary eyes of those who are not present. They are the dreamers."
-- Milan Kundera, The Unbearable Lightness of Being
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